IPL

The IPL has had its fair share of attention even before the start of the actual event. Let it be the auctioning, the owners and part-owners, the venues, broadcasting rights - its all over the place. IPL never interested me as I am not a cricket fan (but interests me enough to blog about it ;-) ). But as an Indian and a world citizen, I have the following objections/queries, not necessarily in the order mentioned.

1. There is a difference when one plays for one's country and when one plays for a city, if you know what I mean. As far as my (tiny) knowledge about cricket goes, cricket's future as an inter-country game looks brighter than an intra-country game.
2. This brings me to the next point. The intra-country game. Though I am against pitching a group of 11 sportsmen against each other, the rest of India is for it. There is no doubt about that. And since IPL has been portrayed as an intra-country game, which it is, there is no point in conducting the event on another continent. The entire purpose of such a venture is defeated. Under these circumstances, is IPL still 'all about cricket' as has been advertised? May I remind that this is the INDIAN PL and not the INTERNATIONAL PL!
3. The venue issue leads to the next point. The inter-city competition. It is not a difficult task if the matches are held in India, as was last year. Are the sponsors expecting the same kind of enthusiasm this year?
4. Lalit Modi recently made a statement saying that continuity of the game was crucial than the profits! Are you serious Mr. Modi? If so, could you have not scheduled the event pre- or post-elections. Everybody knew that India was going to polls in 2009. Thanks to all the voters' registration advertisements post 26/11. Why not take a gap year instead? Raise a debt-note and return all money that exchanged hands during the auctions!
5. This brings me to the last point - auctioning of players - is it not like buying slaves? The difference is that the players get hefty amounts after every match. And international brand endorsements take care of the rest.

It is not that I am against IPL. Its just that it has blown cricket out of proportion. Cricket isn't cricket any more. Its more of glamour and less of sport. Forget cricket entering the Olympics!

But heyy...big deal! Watch the match, enjoy the game and forget it. At least Pak players are excluded this year!!

Phew

This is what happened today morning.
I was introduced to a guy (he was more of an Ape-ish looking uncle...as though he had excess bone growth!) by a common acquaintance. This new guy came to me and said, "I am told u had gone at UK to study. If you are OK, I want to ask few questions." (Note the wierd English). I told him I had no problems answering his questions. Once the questions started, I knew I had made a big mistake! Our conversation went as follows:
['AU' stands for ape-ish uncle. And everything in italics is what I say in my mind.]
*****
AU: How is everybody there?
M: (umm...what a question!! Are u referring to the Queen's pets or the sweeper who cleaned my apartment weekly?) Umm...is this relating to the universities or living or working? (I get no answer to this question.)
AU: I will get job? I have work permit of Saudi. So I can work in London?
M: (Do you really think you are allowed to work in the UK with a Saudi work permit??!!) I cannot say if you will get a job there. And definitely not during these times!!
AU: I can ask for work permit?
M: (May be he means apply for work permit) If a company interviews and selects you, then its the company's responsibility to get a work permit for you. Nobody can apply individually for a work permit as one applies for a visa.
AU: OK. But I will get good job?
M: (Right!! Now he is not happy with just a job. He wants a 'good' job.) I am sorry, but I really can say nothing about getting jobs.
AU: I also want favour. (Do you have no self respect??) My cousin is also there. He has hard problems with money. There is no bank account and he has cheque. So if you have known friends there, he can stay with them...(WHAT DOES THAT BLOODY MEAN???)
M: I think the International Students' Association at your cousin's University will be able to help better.
AU: Where is International Students' Association?
M: At your cousin's University!
AU: My cousin is not in University, he is in college. (OMG OMG OMG Help me !! HELP !!!)
M: (talking VERY SLOWLY and PATIENTLY) You see, there is a "department" in all colleges and universities to help and support international students. So may be your cousin can go to this department and they will help him!
AU: OK. 6 months before, I talked to a man called Mr. *** and he sent me letter about admission. In letter, he had wrote the start date of course and money to paid. Now last week again I talked with him and he is not there. Nodoby is there for long?
M: (NOBODY IS THERE FOR LONG ??? All humans are mortal, if thats what you mean!! And isn't there a possibility that he may have got a better job?!) Umm...he may have changed his job!! (What is the whole point of asking me this question anyway????)
AU: OK. Last week, there was another man (There you go....so there IS somebody else to answer your questions!!) He again send me same letter, only with date refreshed.
M: (Refreshed???) OK. So whats the problem?
AU: In letter he says to pay full amount. What if I have no admission and I waste money?
M: No University will ask for full payment of tution fees! Read the letter again. It must be 'processing fees for application'.
AU: OK. Processing fees for admission?
M: APPLICATION. (But let it be admission if it pleases you!)
AU: OK. What cost it will take to travel 2 hours there by road?
M: (Complete silence. I was literally stunned!) Umm...sorry?
AU: My cousin is 2 hours away by road from my University. I can say him to go and see the problem.
M: Ohhhh.....(I suddenly felt enlightened like the Buddha) I see....Well...I cannot say how much it will cost you. It depends on how far you need to travel and whether you travel by train or coach.
AU: My cousin stays 2 hours from University. Not very far. So it will take how much money?
M: (Poor guy was trying to put everything in simple words. Speed = Distance/Time. Where does cost feature in this?) I cannot say anything about the travelling costs. Really I cannot.
AU: (Still being stubborn) But you must have travel here and there for 2 hours?
M: (Trying not to laugh because it never occured to me to travel 'here and there' aimlessly for just 2 hours so that somebody 3 years later could have the benefit of my aimless wanderings!) Travelling costs don't depend upon the travelling time, well, at least not directly. If you reserve a seat well in advance, you can get it at half the price! Or you may even need to pay twice the amount.
AU: In Saudi, (You are not in Saudi!!) there is 1.5 km. Everywhere travelling will be same cost. Travelling rises 1.5 km, then money rises. (By this time I had serious doubts about his clearing his IELTS) So in London (note: Its London now. Not UK) how much money is needed?
M: (Very patiently again) I think the fares for train and coach must be determined in a different way in the UK. (Hello...of course!!)
AU: All travelling is based upon the cost of oil and petrol. So if you tell me, I can imagine cost.
M: I did not have a car when I was studying there. So I have no clue what was the oil and petrol cost 3 years back.
AU: May be you read paper. Paper always has all costs.
M: (F*** off !!! You expect me to remember fuel prices ??? I wonder if an Arab oil sheikh remembers them!!) NO.
*****
Phew....That was how my day started! And ended with me typing the conversation and re-living it! :)

Random Thoughts

I need to pen down my thoughts regularly if I have to do some serious blogging. Or else why waste cyber space?
Can cyber space be really wasted? The amount of data uploaded (or should it be 'scattered' since it is space?) online is un-imaginable. So where does this new space come from?
Talking about space, why do scientists look for life in the outer space? Isn't it a complete waste of time considering the situation we are now facing on Earth? True, I am not going to live long enough to experience the 100% melt-down of all the ice on the North and South poles, and true I don't care much about future generations when I yet have to achieve so many things in life, but I still feel that dealing with the situation at hand will be beneficial than looking for life or suitable living conditions for Homo sapien sapien in outer space!
"मैत्रेयी" "ऋचा" "आदिती" Look ताई, my devnagri fonts are working !! So happy :) Let me write ससा for you :)

Office-Office

Me and my cousin used to enjoy playing 'office-office' when we were kids. Even when we played भातुकली,
most of our time was spent in the office. We were bosses then! My cousin is fortunate that she is respected by her seniors and her word counts in her office and she is seen as a future boss; but that has not been the case as far as my career is concerned.
About a month ago, we (read the company I am working for) were on the verge of getting a good project. We 'were' and we did not because it do not work out for various reasons. One of the reasons was a failed attempt at maintaining public relations on part of my seniors. Another colleague is an expert at screwing projects...not that he gets too many of them, but our clients say that they are bored of explaining things to him!! So imagine the quality and quantity of his work. Another senior colleague hardly spends any time in the office. If other employees spend 8 hours sitting in office (note: just sitting, not working!), the time he spends can be counted in minutes. And yet another colleague yaps, yaps and yaps. Again, zero output! A member of our creative team had created a very good looking patient education pamphlet but its creativity was destroyed because the boss did not like it. We finally sent a boring looking pamphlet to our client with zero aesthetic value. A few days back, a meeting was called to suggest a catchy, funky name to one of our campaigns. I suggested S.P.E.P. pronounced as 'spep'. Boss suggested a 'value addition' of the letter 'T' since it was the first alphabet of the brand name. He suggested P2SET or SPEPT or P-SEPT.
And I have to listen to n-number of cynical remarks about me having fixed an appointment with a client on some day of the week and forgetting that its a bank holiday, something that I have NEVER done. Finally, I told my boss, "Look here, I am just sincere. Not boring."
Bloody, its not my company. I am not the one pocketing the profits, if any. And the campaigns and pamphlets are not going to have my name flashing on it. Its going to be the client's name. So if somebody is working for you without getting much in return and not complaining, the least you can do is GET OUT OF THE WAY and let me do my work.
Sometimes I wonder if they want the company to make profits or want to create perfect settings to file for bankruptcy!!

Let the Grey Cells work !!!

I am bored !! Give me some productive, constructive work !!
Let my grey cells work !!

VVIPs and their Convoys

The VIPs have already made the common man's life look sub-standard. And as if this was not enough, there has evolved a sub-species known as the VVIPs who make life even miserable. Politicians, socialites and film stars all belong to this new sub-species set. Ridiculous amount of special treatment is poured (I was going to use the word 'showered'...but it sounded meek in my mind itself!!) on them.
It was reported in today's Mumbai Mirror that President Pratibha Patil has cut down on the number of cars used for her convoy from the usual 30 allocated for VVIPs to just 11. Me and mum praised and blessed her after reading this and talked about how women have more brains than men.
This 'feel-good' phase lasted only for about a hour in the morning as I had to wait for around 20 minutes for Her convoy to pass before the traffic was allowed to resume...had to wait for 20 minutes before her convoy of 38 cars were well on their way to Navi Mumbai.
I wonder if Madam President knows about this..!!??

The Literate, The Educated and The Wise....(& otherWise)

There are three kinds of people in this world - the Literate, the Educated and the Wise. The otherWise category needs special attention, so will blog about them later ... or never!!
The Literate do things that are either compulsory or because their "parents told them so". They complete schooling (made compulsory by Govt), study further ("parents told them so") and get a job (again compulsory but optional in some cases).
The Educated do everything the Literate do in addition to doing something for themselves and their families. These somethings may not always be 'good', but nonetheless...
There are a few striking similarities between the Literates and the Educated - a) they hardly ever think on their own b) because of not thinking, they do things the way they have been done for centuries and never think about being practical and doing the right thing and c) as a professor once commented "I cannot believe that this class of 150+ students is sitting here just to while away the time between their HSC and marriage!!" because we (me and a few others sitting together) honestly could not understand what he was talking about.
Now, the Wise. They are probably the most experienced (read: snow white hair). But can other people not be wise inspite of their hair colour? That is what I (think) I am or at least wish to be in the long run. But I definitely believe I am between Educated and Wise, more towards the latter side.